Tap Dancing.

Yep I take tap dancing. I make fun of myself for it, but secretly I love doing it. I'm not that good, but it feels nice to be able to dance and have fun while exercising. I loathe exercising. I do, but I do it because I feel guilty, and I'm sick of being fat. I do it for my health, but I don't like it. But tap dancing doesn't feel like exercising to me although I always come home sweaty and tired like I've been at the gym.

I've always been self concious of my body, and once again I am going through my body issues. I never feel adequate. I can count the number of times on one hand that I've felt truly beautiful. I'm not really sure how to fix it, but it's always there. I wonder if I'm single cause I'm too fat or too ugly. I question every outfit I wear, wondering what people are thinking, where people probably don't care that much, do they? I don't know.

I have my dance recital this upcoming week. I have many students dancing in the recital with me. It will be exciting and I will enjoy it. But I have this fear that I won't be any good and people will laugh. It will be fine and I know it in my head, I just need to keep reminding myself.

Wish me luck.